I Understand

I stroke her leg gently as she was talking. I was happy to hear her voice, her talking about how she felt and feels - it's one of the most important things for me.

One of the things I really love about her (among the 10 billion other things. Seriously, I've said and thought about this phrase more than I could imagine. SO IN LOVE WITH HER!) is that she shares her most intimate and deep feelings with me in person. I can feel when it happens, when it's serious. I see it in her gorgeous eyes.

I read her blog more than once. What she felt and what she thought about. I don't have much to say about it, besides that I was crying.

Crying a lot.

I never got to see a lot more into her, a deeper explanation to what how she feels when she feels bad about herself. I knew that there's more than what she wrote me - just like that day when she sat on my lap and shared her deep emotions with me. I was crying because I was happy to see that blog, I was happy to read and understand a lot more. I was happy she found a way to share the things she wanted to share to someone, somewhere so people read and showed support. I was happy to read about her emotional past more than I knew until now.

But I was also crying because I was very sad. I was very, very sad. I was sad because she is a person with SO SO SO many positive and amazing traits. I was sad because she felt that way, that she dealt with something so strong like that. I was sad that she felt so alone, so vulnerable, so judged, so pressured. I was sad, because she was sad.

She is the most amazing and pretty human being on earth. No-one nor nothing's going to change that.

I just miss her so bad right now.

Crying.

Needing to be patient to see her only tomorrow.

My love.

My precious.